(This article is about the traditional Brechan sport Brunteling. If you were searching for the political position, click here.)

Brunteling, the composite coming from the roots brun, meaning to tussle or squabble, and tel, meaning small fish, is a traditional, time-honored sport of the Brechan people. Professional bruntelers are allowed inhuman additional privileges, such as avoiding some day-to-day farm work, in order to hone their awe-inspiring skills at this monstrously complex and grueling game. The rest of the Brechan populace treats the sport as akin to a religious practice, and offer the idols of said practice similar devotion and respect (and not too uncommonly, offerings).

The game involves only two props, although in most games players are highly encouraged to bring their own additional equipment. These are:

  • A sufficiently large open space, with a 14 forb high mound in the center
  • The tel, which is made out of 4 equally sized triangular slabs of stone, affixed to each other to make a 3-dimensional geometric shape. This shape is remarkably akin to that of a small fish when it is carved into the shape of a pyramid (except of course rather larger), which is likely where the name originated.

Rules of Play Edit

The tel begins on the top of the mound, where both teams attempt to seize it and roll it along its edges to the outside edge of the field which is painted in their colour. If the tel is rolled into the no-man's strip between the two regions, a random selection of animals is introduced into play. This of course plays a major role in many of the more advanced plays. After a period of either 6 astrofluxes, or until all players surrender or are otherwise incapacitated, the team that has scored the most points is victorious.

Brunteling Etiquette Edit

Etiquette is considered quite a serious business in Brunteling; given the social importance of the game, a player can ill afford to cause undue offense to any party.

While the game embraces the open-ended and zany atmosphere that arises from policies such as bring-your-own-sports-instrument clause, it is generally frowned upon to utilize living creatures, particularly when said creatures belong to one's opponent. Likewise, there can only be one tel; no other tels can have anywhere near the same scoring capabilities.

Fouls are a unfortunately common occurence in competitive and even informal play, as the has never been a recorded instance of any sort of referee surviving an attempt to enter the field. Because of this, fouls are left to be judged under the principles of "a jury of ones peers"; spectators are provided with projectiles upon entrance.

Afterward the game is ended, all players are expected to make some visible attempt to shake a hand of some description before leaving the field. For a more clear definiton of "visible", "attempt", "shake", "hand", "leaving", or "field", the dedicated scholar may peruse the scupulous texts of rulings that the Brechan people have put together to resolve many issues that have arisen on that count.

Citations: Brechan, Forb, Metapolochnacy